Agency Dog: My Top 5 Human Peeves

Mar 2, 2013  |  By Ron Wesson  |  

human-peevesI recently took some time away from my incredibly busy career to vacation in the Channel Islands. Without the heavy pressures of work (being on high alert for Fedex is beyond draining), I had time for some reflection. While I encourage you to share your own top five peeves, human or otherwise, I’m far too busy to sympathize.

  1. People in bed – gosh, I just can’t stand it. You take up so much space, you thrash around when you dream and yes, you snore. Oh, and YOU farted, not me.
  2. Microsoft Word – seriously, can you just once keep the indent on the page where I originally wanted it. I see you thinking about it Microsoft Word, I see your blue arrows searing through my monitor like a shaft of sunlight on a cloudy day and I see you, Microsoft Word, willfully placing my words in an entirely different position. I wish a plague of fleas upon you, oh Microsoft Word.
  3. Cats – ‘nuff said.
  4. Not reading the sign at the on–ramp signal – people, it’s one car or two cars. You’re not being asked to read War and Peace every time you enter the freeway so for the love of God, will you please pay attention and if it says two cars, make it so.
  5. Anthropomorphism in advertising – stop, please. Thanks to AdvertisingAge for highlighting this… again. Humans like fresh breath, I get it, but, newsflash, I’m a dog. Our breath smells. It’s kind of our thing.I like to drink out of the toilet, investigate stuff I find on the street and…. I don’t think I need to go on. But I could. For a really long time. You have no idea.So Orapup, I applaud your innovation and your viral campaign but maybe you should take a look at cats. You’ve got to be able to do something about those furballs.

P.S. Microsoft Word, I forgive you. Using anthropomorphism in my musings would have been impossible without spellcheck.

Agency Dog
Mood: Hungry

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